A True Tale from the Life of Ari Johnson
How To Choose an Annual Book and Become Memorable… and also a review of The Proposal.
If you are a watcher of chick flicks then you are already most likely familiar with one of the greats called The Proposal. If you’ve seen this movie you might have briefly wondered how much older Sandra Bullock was than Ryan Reynolds (the answer is 12 years) but you most likely put that inquisition aside…
4 Ways To Become A Less Bored Person
There were some things my siblings and I were not allowed to say growing up. “Shut up”… Super banned “I hate you”… You are definitely losing your dinner and getting cayenne pepper on the tongue “I wish you had never been born”… This was the worst of all things to say. My mom told us…
For Every Mother
A True Tale from the Life of Ari Johnson
WHO GET’S GRANDPAS $$$: The Jacob and Esau Family Curse
To my cousins who willingly vow each year to resist the family curse. Arguably one of the greatest stories in all of literature is the story of Jacob and Esau in the Bible. Esau is the oldest and therefore the first in line to get all of his father’s blessings and money. BUT HE SELLS…
My Chocolate Chip Cookie Story
This story is dedicated to my Tahitian Uncle/Cousin Hanny, who taught me how to make Chocolate Chip Cookies, and to Mrs. Fields Cookies No. 2, the greatest Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe in the entire world. Note on the text: I will be capitalizing the words “Chocolate Chip Cookie” because this dessert deserves the respect of…
The Crime Family Brownie Experiment
To my crime family: Matteo and Sabina you were good parents and taught me how to be a shrewd business owner and baker. To my brothers Marco, Carlos, Vincenzo and Amadeo: your relentless bullying gave me a tough skin which is needed to live in Chicago in the 1950s. I hope you are all proud of me.
My Namesake, The Mermaid
A True Tale from the Life of Ari Johnson
Bring Back The Waltz
Just letting you know right off the bat that you’re going to want to pull up YouTube/Spotify/Pandora (do people even use Pandora for music anymore?) before reading this… and start playing waltz music. It doesn’t really matter what kind of waltz music… OH WAIT YES IT DOES Russian waltz would be the best to play…
Get a Thinner Bubble
4. Years. Ago. I was walking the streets on a dry, hot, dismal night in a small suburb of Calgary Alberta Canada. I was there as a proselyting missionary to share the message of Jesus Christ with anyone… literally anyone who would listen. That night my companion and I walked home after a long day…