Sometimes I walk into social situations where the vibe is just… off.
There are weird clusters of people whispering in corners.
There’s a bounteous table of food but nobody will approach it because of this invisible boundary.
A bunch of small talk is happening but nobody is interested in having meaningless conversations.
This “offness” is usually so overwhelming for me that it almost smothers me to death.
Instead of passing out right there on the floor, I usually decide to begin a helpful, healthy, rousing debate to get the energy and vibe back to where it needs to be.
Social gatherings can produce some of the most unforgettable memories and the bestest of friendships… but only if you have the right kind of vibe.
If you don’t know how to start a rousing debate here are 10 triggering things to say that will instantly make you the salvation of any party.
How do I know that these things start rousing debates???
Because I’ve unintentionally tested Every. Single. One.
- “Cheater cheater pants on fire”
If you need this one to be explained it might not be the smartest one for you to use. My father authored this saying and it’s worked wonders on even the most passive and apathetic of people. There’s something about the purposeful misuse of phrasing that convinces people that they can leave the social rules that say only small talk is allowed.
- “Dueling is murder”
I unintentionally discovered this triggering phrase after delving into the world of Regency Romance. For those who don’t know what dueling even is let me explain. Back during the time of Pride and Prejudice, society was obsessed with honor and rule-keeping. If a man offended a woman or questioned her character in any way, then her closest male relative (usually a brother, cousin, uncle, father, or fiance) challenged the offender to a duel. The duel took place sometime between the middle of the night and super early the next morning (because dueling was illegal even though it was fashionable.) The two men would face each other and then take 20 or so steps away from each other and then fire their guns. You might be thinking, “That sounds dangerous” BECAUSE IT IS. In many instances, people were shot and killed all because they said something mildly offensive. A surprising number of people argue that dueling is so honorable and amazing because men used to stand up for women in such a powerful way but at the end of the day I think it’s just murder most of the time. I threw this fun comment out one day and I’ve been dealing with the firestorm ever since. The coolest part about it is that by having this discussion people learn more about Regency England which is a historical win!
- “ASAP as possible”
Unfortunately in our society, we’ve overused the phrase “ASAP” and so now it has the same meaning as saying, “I need you to do this in whatever time you feel like doing it.” I devised a new way to convey to someone that they need to hurry as fast as humanly possible. The answer was just to add an extra “as possible” to the end of “ASAP.” The reaction to this new phrase has been extremely controversial, but it lights a fire behind the eyes that I love to see in our apathetic world… so I continue to use it as often as I can.
- “Physical attraction isn’t important for a first date”
I don’t necessarily even believe this statement fully, but in a world where it seems that 98% of matches are made on dating apps this one causes quite a firestorm. Because dating apps require a judgment of a person’s physical appearance there are quite a number of opinions about the subject and it’s the perfect kind of energy for a rousing debate.
- “Harry Potter Order of the Pheonix was the best book in the series”
This one is extremely personal. After making my way through 4 Harry Potter books I began the 5th one with complete and full sympathy for Harry and everything he had gone through.*SPOILER WARNING (although if you haven’t read Harry Potter yet… will you ever at this point?) After Harry watches Voldemort kill his strange sort of friend Cedric, he miraculously makes it out alive only for all of his friends and mentors to treat him like he’s 2 years old and ghost him all summer… INCLUDING his bestest friends in the whole world Ron and Hermione. So at the beginning of book 5, Harry has a rant moment where he gets all of this off his chest and I fully sympathize with him. Well, I guess I’m the only one. When I’ve used this statement people have fired back that the 5th book is the worst because Harry is so whiney all the time. I’d like to see how they react when their parents are killed by a dark wizard and then that same wizard tries to kill them and then everyone they know and love ghosts them. Even though I get super fired up about this… it’s a great discussion to have because almost the entire population of the world at this point knows what Harry Potter is.
- “Del Taco is the best of all fast food Mexican restaurants”
With Taco Bell and Taco Time existing in the same space as Del Taco this one is destined to be controversial. If you’re curious if Del Taco is actually the best… you can take my word for it or you can go there and get their bean and cheese burrito for the price of a handful of dirt. Any time I can drive traffic toward Del Taco is a win for me because I’m so worried that evil Taco Bell will become more popular and get them shut down. Even if nobody you know spends any time talking about Mexican fast food… every person finds themselves at one of these three places at 1 AM in the drive-through… So almost all people probably have an opinion.
- “Cayenne heals pretty much all wounds”
I was raised on Cayenne pepper and fully believe that the stuff is magic. People love to get their medical advice from a trusted medical source these days so for you to throw out a common kitchen spice as the end-all solution would be the best way to start something amazing.
- “Socrates killed himself”
If you don’t know who Socrates is… then a little trip to Wikipedia would be both helpful and valuable for your education in philosophy. Everyone says Socrates was murdered because after refusing to deny what he thought was true they killed him. The actual method of death though was that he had to take hemlock… which happened by his own hand… which is sometimes called suicide. If you find yourself at a party with a bunch of pretentious philosophy majors… that would be the time to break this gem out.
- “Nebraska is the best state in the USA”
Even people who have never been to Nebraska have opinions about Nebraska. State pride is a real thing in the USA and people LOVE to tell you which state is the best and which is the worst. In most of my conversations, Nebraska comes out at the very end so what better way to start a rousing debate than by placing it #1?!?
- “The Diary of Anne Frank is kind of weird”
I read this supposedly inspirational and moving diary when I was in my teens. Looking back now I don’t really know what I was expecting but fantasies about a 13-year-old boy hiding in the closet with you was not it. Most people have never read this book and all they know about it is the one inspirational quote they have on their Pinterest boards. For not having read it, people get surprisingly passionate about defining the serious and somber nature of her diary which is really just the weird and sometimes normal fantasies of a young teenage girl.
So if you find yourself incapable of approaching the cheese ball at your next party… use one of these and watch the energy come to life.
And who knows… maybe you’ll discover some of your own triggering statements for yourself.