To the random employee at the Chaco company who performed a miracle
The first thing worth mentioning at the beginning of what will be a long explanation of my obsession with the moon… is that I need history or information to live.
What do I mean by this?
One time I got sent on an 18-month full-time proselyting Christian mission to Canada. Kind of a kick in the face because I practically begged to go to either Scotland or Denmark.
I could have gone and broken a bunch of maple syrup jars in my parking lot but instead, I dived right into Canadian history.
18 months later and you’ve never met a deeper lover of Canada.
History or information changes my relationship with humans, objects, and places.
I need information to find a place for things in my life.
The second thing worth mentioning before getting into my moon hobby is that I was homeschooled from the womb until I left for Canada.
Today people use the word “homeschool” to mean that their children see 7 different tutors and spend the remaining time doing online school.
Modern homeschooling means that for the year or two of COVID, moms actually had to sit down at the table and teach their kids something that they forgot 27 years ago.
Homeschooling today simply means whatever methods, (including torture) manipulation, or means is required to get your son/daughter into college WILL. BE. DONE. ASAP AS POSSIBLE.
Ask any real-deal OG homeschooler and they will agree that this new-fangled modern definition of homeschooling is not legit.
Real homeschooling is a child at the worn wooden kitchen table in jammies with the mom setting a timer for them to finish either their hot cereal or their math for the day.
Real homeschooling is being 100% responsible for the feeding, grooming, and safety of your mom’s 8th child.
Real homeschooling is reading Fablehaven book 4 under your blanket with your book light at 3:45 AM because there’s no time for fiction during the busy work day.
Real homeschooling was my childhood
One of the most common traits in real homeschoolers is their deep, abiding, all-consuming hatred for the subject of math.
I’m talking sobbing on the living room floor yelling at the parents that they’re never going to build a pool so they don’t ever need to know how to solve for “x.”
Math time in a homeschool house is insane.
I hated it so much that when I turned 12 I taught myself how to draw fake authentic looking math before learning the real stuff. When my Aunt Lois saw a page of my work she said “Wow… Ari is such a scholar.”
Proudest moment of my entire life.
Pictured: An authentic page of fake math done by Ari Johnson circa 2010
By the time I finally made it to college, I chose to study a subject as far from math as possible.
Classical Liberal Arts
Things were going well until my Junior year when I found out I was going to have to take a Philosophy of Mathematics class in order to graduate.
By this point, I was hopefully 10% more open-minded and less resentful.
Here’s a surprise spoiler for you…I actually ended up loving the Philosophy of Mathematics so much.
It was hard, a little murdery, sometimes awful, and took every one of my brain cells to understand… but I really really enjoyed it.
We studied Euclid (so fun) Apollonius (not quite as fun but lots of cool shapes) Galileo (my homie) and Newton. (real piece of work but definitely a genius)
When we got to Newton and all of his super fun complicated equations about universal gravitation, I felt those old tear ducts that were so overused in my childhood start to act up. I recognized the serious nature of the situation that would end with me throwing a full-on tantrum as a college student unless I enacted an emergency plan.
After panicking and thinking… I found a solution.
I created Moon Watch
And yes… it was as cool as it sounds.
Here’s how it worked
3 nights a week I had to go outside with my math notebook and observe the moon.
I had to look at it long enough that I stopped thinking of it as both a rock and a planet.
I had to look at it long enough that I forgot how gravity works.
Moon watch changed me
It transformed my whole relationship with Math… which my mom would call a miracle that rivals those in the Bible.
Here are some observations I documented about Moon Watch…
March 22
I’m staring at the moon right now trying to pretend that I live in the 1600s and I have no idea what it is or how it’s there.
April 27
I’m looking at the moon again tonight. It’s amazing how much light the moon gives off. We think of it as a lesser light, but imagine how dark the night would be without it.
April 13
Would I actually believe the moon was a God if I didn’t know what it is?
April 21
I’m looking at the moon again and if I was a young child in the 1600s I would probably have nightmares of the moon one day giving up its floating routine and falling on me in my sleep crushing me to death.
For more of my professional thoughts on Moon Watch see this post.
Ultimately I realized that if you start looking at the moon and make the insane effort to pretend like you don’t know anything about it… you start to wonder what it really is and why it’s glowing and what is keeping it in the sky. You start to feel connected in a completely new way to the suspicions of the past. You begin to understand the significance of early scientific discoveries even if they weren’t 100% accurate.
It was important for me to realize that I wouldn’t have ever thought about those things without being very intentional in thinking about the moon that way.
Following my weeks of Moon Watch, I became kind of obsessed with the moon. As I headed out the door each day at 4:00 AM I would look up and see it watching over me and though it had been there my whole life I saw things differently now. I saw the moon as a representation of humanity’s history with the heavens.
As explained earlier I need history to make things relevant to me… and ultimately to survive.
As I continued learning about the moon, I watched the Christmas Eve broadcast of the first people to orbit the moon in 1968. Frank Borman, Jim Lovell, and Bill Anders had a special broadcast for those on Earth. They said, “We were told that on Christmas Eve we would have the largest audience that had ever listened to a human voice and the only instructions that we got from NASA was to do something appropriate.”
Can you imagine deciding what is appropriate to share when you’re the first people on earth to see the moon up close?!?!?!?
I think they made the perfect decision.
As they orbited the moon with the whole world watching, they each took turns reading from the first chapter of Genesis in the Bible.
People in the 60s talked with this very steady, kind of aggressive, calming narrative voice and it gave me chills as I heard them read, “In the Beginning, God created the heaven and the earth…”
I was as riveted as any kid in the 1960s watching that broadcast
So after my mental, emotional, and even physical year of changing my relationship with math I decided to reward myself.
Like most homeschool families each member of my family owns a pair of sandals. Occasionally when it got cold we would be those people who wore socks with sandals because homeschoolers don’t care what the world thinks of them.
The sandals I grew up with were Tevas… but over time we became disillusioned with the velcro so we made the significant change to…
After wearing my original pair of Chacos for 10 years through sand, excrement, food waste, ocean water, and mud I decided that I would reward my effort in math by customizing a brand new pair for myself.
Because I was at the height of my moon obsession… I got Chacos with moons all over them.
Then I realized you can get them embroidered…
So obviously I wanted them to say “In The” (on the left sandal) “Beginning” (on the right sandal)
There was only one problem…
They told me I could only choose 8 letters per sandal… not 9
So with the greatest faith I’ve ever had in my life… I sent in my custom Chaco order with the word “Begining” missing a very valuable “n”
I included a strongly worded customer note begging and pleading with them to make an exception just this once and do 9 letters instead of 8 so that my Chacos wouldn’t be making fun of the Bible.
And then I waited.
With bated breath.
Still doing Moon Watch.
Keeping up my positive relationship with math.
Until one day…
My Chacos showed up at the door.
I carefully unpackaged them from the box and pulled out both sandals and read…
In The Beginning
(Take a minute to wipe your eyes if you need… because I’m pretty much sobbing at this point)
I don’t know what kind of people the Chaco company hires… but someone working for that company knew that if there was a girl crazy enough to get moon Chacos with a Bible verse stitched on the back… he better listen to my demands… or who knows? A curse could happen.
Now every time I wear my Chacos people make the mistake of asking what it all means.
I sit them down…
Give them a bottle of water…
And begin telling them of a stupid young girl who used to hate math.
